


The Avengers (and a pilot) Walked into a Bar

by stonegirl77



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Avengers at a bar, F/M, Fluff, Team Bonding, protective fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonegirl77/pseuds/stonegirl77
Summary: From the prompt: "Leave this to me. I can handle this. I hope." @witterprompts on tumblr.Bruce and y/n go to the Avengers' pub night  - it's not their fault the alley Bruce goes to hide in becomes suddenly occupied.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for becca, who requested Bruce as my next victim...

The bar was crowded.

Far more crowded than I'd expected for a nothing Tuesday in the middle of December.

"Sorry, Doc," I said to the man behind me. "We can get lost, if you want."

"Tony would never let it go," Banner said, speaking directly into my ear so I could hear him. Never mind that his breath on my cheek sent shivers skittering down my spine. "Come on - he's over there." He pointed over my shoulder, where, sure enough, Stark was gesturing wildly at a booth that also contained the men-mountains that were Steve Rogers and Thor.

The crowd shifted and I half-stumbled forward as space suddenly opened up. I stepped into the space, trying to get over to the team unscathed. A quick look over my shoulder showed me Banner keeping pace with me.

He noticed me looking. "I'm not going lose you," he assured me, giving me one of his patented soft smiles. "I've got your six - isn't that what you always say?"

I grinned back, a bit touched he'd remembered my militarisms, even though they were hardly revolutionary. "Roger that, Doc."

The crowd was thinning as we moved away from the bar, and I could actually walk at some kind of speed. Even so, despite the dropping of population density, I could still feel the warmth of Dr. Banner at my back.

I half-jogged up the steps, raising a hand as Captain Rogers looked up.

"You made it!" he said.

"And dragged the good doctor with me," I agreed, nodding at Banner.

"Brucie! Lieutenant! You're here!" Stark half-turned, smiling his signature grin that was equal parts mirth and sarcasm.

"Stark," I nodded, looking for a place to sit. Banner was pulling up a chair, but that seemed to be the only seat- oh.

"Sit," Banner said, motioning for me to take the chair he'd brought over.

"Doc," I protested. It wasn't like I was a member of the team, or anything. Not really. I was constant back-up - the pilot in reserve, for when they were all bruised and battered and wanted nothing more than to just relax on the way home from a mission.

"I'd rather stand," he looked uncomfortable, glancing at the front of the bar, then at the back.

"Quicker exit?" I said, quietly enough I hoped no one else would hear, and he nodded, once.

"You got it, doc," I said, and sank into the chair.

"You know, you could call me Bruce," the man suggested. "Everyone else does, and we're not on duty, either."

I craned my neck up and back at him, eyebrows raising in surprise. "Ok," I said. "Bruce." I shook my head. "But only off-mission. Hill would kill me."

"Who's killing who?" Barton asked from beside me. "Anything I ought to know?"

"Nah." I shook my head. "Just talking about what a stickler Deputy Director Hill can be."

"What, Maria?" That was Sam Wilson, chiming in with his own inquisitive tilt of the head. "Ya think?"

"I call Steve here anything less than Captain, and she reminds me of his military rank," I said. I wasn't grumbling. Not really. _But honestly, if Steve wants me to use his first name - insists on it, in fact, why should Hill care?_

Sam started to chuckle, Barton joining in. "Well, that settles that, then." He leaned over to bump Steve on the shoulder where he was talking to Thor and Stark. Steve looked over, and Sam just chuckled. Steve flipped him off, and went back to talking to the Asgardian.

"See, we figure Steve and Hill like each other," Barton said. "And he can't talk to her unless it's about work - you should see him try - it's like he turns into a giant 11 year old - and she doesn't think Steve's worried about anything but that brainwashed friend of his."

"Which she might, if Steve actually talked to her about anything else," Sam put in. "So she's a little… confused, I'd guess."

I chuckled. "I thought it was a little out of character," I said. "Hill's no martinet."

"What about Director Hill?" Steve asked, acting for all the world like a puppy who'd just heard the food bowl. Sam, Barton and I shared a look, and then practically fell over each other laughing.

A few minutes later, when I'd had a chance to catch my breath and actually snag a beer from the passing wait staff, I looked around for Ban- for Bruce, mentally kicking myself when I couldn't find him.

Bad enough that he blended into the background for the rest of the time - that he kept to himself, mostly on purpose, as far as I could figure out - that he'd opted out of so many group activities that I'd been appointed his unofficial minder and shadow.

And now I'd lost track of him. But how to find him without drawing attention to the fact that he'd vanished. Again. I stood, and Stark looked at me curiously.

"Bathroom," I said, gesturing absently with my beer.

Stark just nodded, and went back to his conversation. I moved away, trying to take an unobtrusive look over the railing, head on a swivel looking for that familiar perpetually messy head of hair.

But I couldn't see him in the crowd. Sighing, I started to push my way towards the kitchen and the rear exit.

 _At least it'll look like I'm headed to the bathroom,_ I thought wryly. _Banner, why do you do this to me?_ Even as I thought it, though, I couldn't blame him. After years of self-imposed exile, of being able to spend exactly as much time in public as he wanted, and no more, the constant limelight of the Avengers, even if he experienced a fraction of it that Tony and Steve did, was a bit much. _Superhero-ing is no job for introverts like us,_ I thought. _And I'm not the one who's constantly trying to keep a giant green guy at bay._

Finally, I reached the swinging kitchen doors and pushed my way through, avoiding the curious kitchen staff as I made my way to the back entrance. Although, the fact that they were simply curious and not yelling made me guess that I wasn't the first person to come through here tonight.

I opened the back door with a bit more caution - you never knew who was standing in front of these things, so I pushed it open slowly.

"Come to check up on me?" Bruce's voice was resigned, and not the annoyed I'd half-feared. After all, who knew when he'd decide that being constantly shadowed by an ex-Air Force pilot simply wasn't worth it any more. Even if I did my best to be inoffensive.

"Nah," I said instead, leaning against the alleyway opposite him, brick wall cold even through the fabric of my flannel shirt. "Too many people in there."

"You know, you really should get better at lying," Bruce's eyes caught in the light of the street lamp just outside the alley as he smiled.

"Yeah, but what would be the fun in that," I shrugged and took a swallow of beer. "I looked around and you were gone - I thought we'd talked about that."

"Sorry," Bruce apologised, looking down briefly. "It… got loud all of a sudden. And some asshole…" I looked at Bruce sharply. He never swore. Ever. Not in my hearing.

"Next time, just let me know, ok?" I asked, reiterating our agreement.

"Next time," Bruce promised. The sound of voices made both of our heads snap to the opening of the alley. Two men, half-drunk by their hitching steps, were supporting a girl between them.

"Come on, honey," one of them said, "Let's get you all set up here." The other guy chuckled, and the sound sent shivers down my spine. Those two weren't up to any good. I flashed a glance at Bruce, whose jaw was clenched as he observed the pair. I moved across the alley as quietly as I could, thanking whatever gods were listening that I'd worn Chucks instead of heels tonight, and pressed my beer into Bruce's hands.

" **Leave it to me. I'll handle this.** " He nodded, and I moved towards the trio. " **I hope** ," I muttered, for myself alone.

"Hey, hot stuff," one of the men said, looking up and spotting me. I hid my scowl of disgust.

"What's up?" I asked, moving closer, keeping my back to the wall, staying between the men and Bruce. "Is she ok?"

The men grew tenser as I neared, and I wished I'd taken Natasha's advice and started keeping a knife on me. If either of these two had a weapon, I was screwed.

"Girl can't hold her liquor," guy on the left grunted. I was close enough to see he was wearing a flannel like mine.

"Stupid slut," guy on the right added, and I couldn't stop my eyes flashing to him in anger. This one was dressed up, buttondown shirt pushed up at the elbows and top two buttons undone. He probably thought he was the shit.

"He didn't mean that," Flannel Guy said, noticing my expression. Buttons didn't know how lucky he was. If Natasha had heard him, he'd already be in pain.

"Sure," I said noncommittally. There was protecting myself, Banner, and this poor girl, and there was being a doormat. "You know what, why don't you give her to me," I suggested. "I'll take care of her, and you two gentlemen can go about your evening." Instead of doing whatever it is you were going to be doing to her in this alley.

Flannel and Buttons exchanged a glance. "Sure," Buttons said, and hefted the girl in my direction. I darted forwards, grabbing her dead weight so she didn't brain herself on the concrete.

That, of course, was the moment that Flannel decided to move forwards to grab me. Fortunately, I'd been spending enough time with Barton and Natasha that I mostly avoided his grabbing hands and spun with the girl, sending him into the wall behind me.

_Shit. Shit shit shit._

I needed to get rid of the girl. Get her behind me and out of my grip so I could defend us both.

Then I heard a wet thwack and the sound of a body collapsing to the ground behind me. I chanced a look, and saw Bruce standing over Flannel.

"Still wanna try this, now the odds aren't in your favour any more?" Bruce asked, and the half of my brain that wasn't focused on Buttons noticed his voice had dropped in pitch and gotten gravelly.

Buttons shook himself, then turned on a heel and half-ran toward the street.

I let out a breath, and the girl in my arms felt very heavy, all of a sudden, and I sagged for a second before I re-braced her, her head lolling onto my shoulder.

"Thanks for the save," I said to Bruce as I lowered the girl to the ground.

"Anytime," Bruce said, moving over to help me. I glanced into his face - no sign of green. _Good._

The girl was coming around, murmuring something.

"Hey, can you hear me?" I tried, hovering over her as her head turned.

"Yaah," she said sleepily. Or maybe not sleepily.

"Odds those assholes drugged her?" I asked Bruce, who was checking her pulse and frowning.

"Definitely possible," he said. I looked at him, then at the girl.

"Wanna go back to the others and I'll call the cops?" I asked. I was sure he didn't want to deal with the police at any time of day, let alone on his evening off.

To my surprise, though, Bruce just shook his head. "I'm not leaving you here to deal with this on your own." He pulled his phone out, dialed a number I couldn't see, and started talking almost immediately. "Yeah, I'm here, Tony. I'm in the alley with y/n." Bruce blushed as Tony started talking. "No, no nothing like that - listen - we ran into two assholes who were 'helping' a girl into the alley. She's barely conscious, and one of them…" Bruce glanced behind him. "Definitely is." He listened for a moment. "Yeah, we're both fine." He glanced at me for confirmation, and I nodded. "Ok. We'll wait here. Thanks, Tony." He hung up, then took a breath.

"So?" I asked, taking off my flannel so the girl could use it as a pillow.

"Steve's coming - probably with Barton and Romanov in tow," Bruce said. "Tony's calling Hill." I nodded. We could trust Hill to handle it. Mostly.

Steve burst through the door and rushed towards us.

"Are you two ok?" he asked, taking in the scene - the two of us crouched over the girl, Flannel lying abandoned behind us.

"We're fine," I said. "Secure that guy, would ya?" Steve nodded, and I shivered as a breeze shot through the alleyway. The temperature was dropping like a rock, and now I only had a t-shirt on.

"Come on," Bruce said, pulling me upright. I looked at the girl in confusion.

"She'll be fine there for now," he said, pulling off his blazer - the corduroy one I thought made him look like a professor. "Put this on." He offered me the jacket.

"Bruce," I said, looking up at him in surprise.

"Put it on," he repeated. "No way of knowing how long we'll be here - no use you getting chilled."

I stared for a second, then took the jacket, slipping my arms through the too-long sleeves. "Thanks," I said quietly.

"Don't mention it." Bruce was speaking as quietly as I was. "I'm not going to forget you faced down those guys so I didn't have to."

"I know you hate Hulking out," I said lightly. "And it was the right thing to do."

"You could have called the others," Bruce said.

"There wasn't time."

"Which means I could have let the Big Guy out."

"But you hate it - and I was there," I shrugged. "Simplest option."

Bruce sighed. Then, he grabbed one of my arms and pulled me to him in a brief hug. "Thank you," he said in my ear. "For having my six."

My arms had gone around his middle, and I squeezed back before he let me go just far enough to see my face. I couldn't quite meet his eyes, realising his arms were still around my waist, and he seemed to have no intention of moving.

And I was very far from complaining.

"Anytime," I said, forgetting the girl near our feet, Captain America practically hogtying Flannel a few yards away. The world seemed very far away, all of a sudden, standing in his arms. "Anytime, Bruce."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Let me know in the comments if there's a character/prompt you'd like me to write, or visit me on tumblr to do the same!


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